When the Going Already Started Out Being Overplayed...
Alright, this is sketchy, because like any good politician, I may back down on my promises. But there are certain songs that I hear on the radio and such, and I think, hey this sounds pretty good, maybe I should play it on my show... and then I realize... maybe not. I mean, they are fun songs, but they are too poppy and overplayed. Yeah.
Check out my note/disclaimer on these reviews.
Listen to my hot hip hop radio show, Elemental Wizardry, right now!!
Game f/ 50 Cent -- How We Do (This track has the cheesiest beat ever. It's kind of catchy, but it's also just really quite "blah, I'm learning how to use an MPC / Triton / etc". Sorry to hate but that's just how I feel. Game has better tracks on his album, but I guess they weren't clubby enough to be used as his first single.)
Usher f/ Alicia Keys -- My Boo (It's sweet and catchy, but it's waaayyyy to repetitive.. and the music video is mad boring. I've hung out in that spot of Times Square as well, friends. love, soce)
LL Cool J -- Hush Baby (Again with the cool beat and production, laced with LL's terrible 2nd grader rhymes. Why do we still love him???)
Busta Rhymes -- Blow Ya *ss Up (They should NOT be allowed to say the words *ss and b*tch on the radio.. that is just not right. Even though I think this song is total crap, I have often thought about quoting it at the end of some of my raps.. "just like busta rhymes, I'mma blow ya *ss up...", lol)
Mary J. Blidge f/ Method Man -- Love at First Site (Yes, it is a catchy song, and it makes me want to bounce. HOWEVER, it sounds like it's straight from friggin' 1992.. even Meth's rap! I can't deal with that. We left 1992 a loong, long time ago, and I'm not at all ready to go back.. that was when I was finishing elementary school and was quite emotionally insecure, and kids were getting big and turning into real bullies.. alas. -eocs)
DMX -- X Gon' Give It To You (Oh, great. Another song where X comes on and acts all hard and stuff. Look, are you X, or are you Earl? Make up your mind, person. Besides, I think he's fine enough looking, but I would really prefer if he asked for my permission before giving it to me. I think as a human being, I deserve that kind of respect. --s.t.e.w.)
Christina Aguilera -- I Am Beautiful (I really want to like this song, because it is so happy and positive, plus it shows two guys kissing, which I guess is supposed to turn me on, but it is so saccharine that I can't stand it and feel obligated to turn the channel. Also, many of the people in the video who are supposed to be "beautiful" despite their "defects" are just so painful and un-fun to look at that it makes me switch TV stations that much faster. Nice Work, Aggy! ha--eocs)
Aaliya -- I Miss You (Aaliya rules.. RIP Baby Girl. Alas, I am not a fan of this song. The bird chirps are cool, but it just doesn't move me. I love many of her other songs, no doubt.)
Tyrese -- How You Gonna Act Like That (This song is pretty weak. You stop singing, no you stop singing.. on three, stop singing, please! Nah, I have enjoyed other of Tyrese's moments, like I Like Dem Girls, and his cameo in Usher's video of My Way, plus when he hosted stuff on MTV, whatever, but this slow jam just isn't doing it for me. And I sometimes do play slow jams.. like I enjoy Jaheim's Fabulous, Kelly R's Stole and Ginuine's Stingy.. but I draw the line at HYGALT. word. --elocution)
LL Cool J feat. Amerie -- Paradise (TELL ME this is not a new LL Cool J song. Tell me please that it's a remake of one of his eighties classics. It reeks of old-skool, and that is NOT cool. Ugh, why does LL get so much radio airplay? I mean, he was hot stuff back in the day, but his style has rarely changed.. it's so played out in the new millenium. I haven't listened to any of 10 but the radio hits, but Fa Ha was good. Why can't the rest of his tracks be that level? Nah, wheel-k ==> eocs)
Angie Martinez f/ Kelis -- Take You Home (I still am not impressed with the radio songs on Angie's new album. I really did like It's My Thing, and her verse on that KRS-1 track back in '97 was hot, as well as some other songs, but these new songs are just too bubblegum fluffy for me, plus they make me jealous because I have never found love or even a hot guy to dance with [besides my straight support friends, and we only danced near each other, but not actually with.. and I wouldn't have wanted to dance close, because that would've been really weird and unsettling]. yeah. soce, the elemental wizard)
Fat Joe featuring Ginuine -- Crush Tonight (After hearing We Thuggin' and What's Luv, I've become a little Fat Joe'd out. I mean, I'm excited that after his 10+ years of rapping, he's really made it big, but all his songs are the same.. a tight beat with his square rapping about how many chics he's been with in one night, as well as how much money he has and what clothing he wears. And I have nothing against fat people, but I find it hard to believe that women are going haywire and throwing themselves at him... plus Ginuine ain't so hot either.. although he DOES sing quality music, so I guess that's what counts. btw, I DID like Fat Joe in his verse on John Forte's album back in 1998. Also, I don't like the fact that in Crush Tonight, Ginuine is commanding me to drink the Hennessy up and grind a woman like I'm trying to have a baby. I mean, what if I don't want to? What if I just want to look around and drink some skim milk? See, I do play Benzino's Rock the Party on my broadcast, because in that song, THEY are the ones drinking Bacardi and freaking somebody, so there is less pressure for ME to go out there and do those dastardly actions myself. Ha! -socetew)
Justin Timberlake -- Cry Me a River (I like the original better [duh]. From the reviews I read about this song, I thought it was going to be amazing. I mean, full choral progressions set to the stop-and-start rhythm of Timbaland's beats.. sounds sweet! I was expecting something like Missy Elliot's Hot Boyz, or the extremely similar-sounding Nicole's Don't Lie.. but instead it was a musical mess. Also, I loved Timbaland's vocal percussions in Aaliya's Tell Me You're That Somebody, but in Cry Me a River, I'm all like, yo Tim, stop slurping and just finish your darn soda!! Yeah, it sounds more annoying than cool this time, alas. PLUS, the video is really creepy. I mean, he breaks into his ex-girlfriend's lavish house, screws around with the furniture, leaves videotapes of women kissing him while he sings on the bed, and then stalks his ex as she walks in and even gazes longingly at her in the shower!!! Gross! I'd be all like Justin, Get the heck away from me!! Go back to your woman with the tattoo on her lower back, you crazy freak! But if you do come back, please bring Joey, cuz he's hot :] )
No Doubt -- Underneath it All (Great song.. way too popular [although I DO play Santana & Michelle Branch's The Game of Love, so go figure]; maybe I will play it about a year from now for the whole retro thing; love, eocs)
Baby a/k/a The Birdman f/ p diddy -- Do That (Pretty Lady) (The beat is semi-catchy, but I like the original two songs that it appears to have been based on better: The drums of puff daddy's PE 2000 [based on Public Enemy's Public Enemy #1] and the music of NORE's Oh No [a track that also came out in the summer of '99 and was also produced by the Neptunes]. Also, there are only so many heteropromotional songs I can place on my broadcast [you're right Will, I am militant :) but only sometimes...]. And PLUS, we all know that the proper bird call is "Cah-caw, cah-caw," right, Alec? best, eocs)
Nelly, featuring 'Tha St. Lunatics -- Air Force One(s) (The rapping skill displayed is decent, and the background is somewhat catchy, but the subject matter is entirely about shoes, as far as I can tell. Granted, I enjoyed the song Sneakers by Raekwon, but one song about kicks is enough for me, thank you. Also, I find it incredibly grating when they say "Err Force Ones." Somehow I could stand the "herre" on Hot in Herre, because he only said it like once or twice in the very beginning, but in this new song, they say it so many times, plus "Getttt meee toooooppppppperrrrrrrs, IIIIIIII neeeeeed toooooooooopppppppperrrrrrrrrs..." [which is a rough approximation of what's actually being said] also really pisses me off when I am 'forced' to hear that line spoken. ALSO, calling themselves "Big Boys"?! My NEPHEW is a big boy, and he's only 1 year old. So there. yay, eocs)
Jay-Z feat Beyonce "B" Knowles -- Bonnie and Clyde (This song is pretty bland. I think I liked the earlier Jay-Z Bonnie and Clyde song, featuring Foxy Brown, better.. that one was okay, I think I just have a problem with Jay-Z singing.. sorry young 'hov, nothing personal--..."Lu'k F' Meeeeeeee!")
Jennifer Lopez f/ 'Tha Lox -- Jenny from the Block (You are NOT Jenny from the Block. You are a famous superstar. You are most DEFINITELY not REAL. Ugh.. I prefer the original B.E.P. and Beatnuts songs that get pulled here over this silly and awkward tune. I guess I am just mad because I know that she would not be my friend if she met me right now. But I guess that's just silly, because she wouldn't be my friend if she met me now and she wasn't famous, so I guess in a sense she IS just Jenny from the block.. but no matter what, she is currently not my friend. Though, if she were to drop Ben or whomever and come my way... I don't know what would happen, but it might be cool... --eocs *NOTE: I MIGHT BEGIN TO PLAY THIS SONG AT SOME POINT.. THERE IS A COOL QUIET GUITAR LICK THAT I HADN'T HEARD UNTIL RECENTLY.. WE'LL SEE*)
Christina Aguilera f/ Redman -- Dirrty (I much, MUCH prefer Redman's own song of yesteryear "Let's Get Dirty" [produced by DJ Cool... go Mr. Janis!]. Let's see, this song MIGHT have worked if it were Pink, but I don't know.. Christina should be singing nice, pretty songs, not these gritty and/or cheesey poppy songs that she's been stuck with. "It's my arrival?" Honey, you've been in the music business for over 4 years, with a slew of hit songs. Either you're already here, and here to stay, or you have left the building. ALSO, what's with miss"s"pelling things? When did being Dir"r"ty become cool, like being Hot in Her"r"e? Durf... Peace/word-k. --eocs)
TLC -- Girl Talk (This is like the most boring pop song in the ENTIRE WORLD, and it depresses me to listen to it. Hearing Left-Eye's rap only slightly raises my interest, but then it gets lowered once she finishes. Plus, it reminds me of all the times I would hang out with girls, and all they did was their silly girl talk, and I would sit around and feel lonely and left out, while they discussed how hot "bearded guy" and "cute stud #5" were :( )
Eminem -- Lose Yourself (I know I should be happy that it's not directly about his wife, mother or daughter, but it makes me feel depressed and think that I may have already missed that one shot of having a career, and that I will never ever finish my album The Awakening. But never fear, my fans.. for I will!! love, eocs)
Ja Rule feat. Bobby Brown -- Thug Lovin' (Yo, Rule! We get the point! You're a thug who likes to love!! You've made roughly 20 songs about this. His latest has a tuneless, weird background with a chorus that I know has words pulled from something else.. maybe something Rule once said a while back.. and the lead singer's voice is all gruff and annoying. Ja sucks lately, and he is totally NOT 2Pac, so don't get it twisted, Rule, baby. You are NOT Pac.)
Dru Hill -- I Should be your Boyfriend (Dru Hill is back. Yay? This is the reason why I hate slow songs.)
Eminem -- Cleaning Out My Closet (Enough of the family drama already, Em; I'd say your closet is pretty darn clean and empty by now [-eocs])
Big Tymers -- Oh, Yeah
Angie Martinez f/ Lil Mo and Sacario -- If I Could Go (It definitely sounds like Angie wanted to hire Jay-Z but then last minute decided to go budget and hire someone who sounded just like Young Hov'z but would be much cheaper. The song is catchy and positive, but it just doesn't pull me in. Although it's kind of funny, the part where they both say "Now that we are on our way," and then Sacario is like 'wait a minute, you go first,' and then Angie is like 'I'm just excited to be with you.. what were you saying?' and Sacario's like 'Nothing [AGAIN!!!], let's go.' Those aren't the exact words between the apostrophes, but you get the point.)
Nas feat. Ja Rule and Ashanti -- The Pledge (This is the worst song I have ever heard in my life. Nas has steadily dropped since Illmatic; although I will admit that One Mic and Rule were decent enough, even though both were over covers of classic eightees songs [Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" and Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," respectively.)
Sean Paul -- Gimme the Light (This is another song I got way back.. in February 2002, to be exact. I thought it was annoying back then, and I still don't like it, even though it's on the radio and MTV a lot. All he wants in the green light to figure out which lady he's gonna sleep with. Wow, that's deep.)
Lil Wayne f/ "The Bird Man" -- Way of Life (I first got this song about 5 months ago on a crappy DJ Kay Slay mix-CD. I thought it sucked then, and I still think it sucks now, even though it's on the radio and MTV. Maybe I'll like songs from Cash Money Millionaires once I start making some money as a rapper; then I'll actually be able to relate to it, somewhat. Until then, I'll be poor and bitter. :) Hey, and I just put tons of new songs on my show, so don't think I'm just being lazy--I'm talking Beenie Man, The Clipse, Foxy Brown, Khia, LL Cool J, Ms. Jade and Rell, just to name a few..)
Kylie Minogue -- Can't Get You Out Of My Head (The video for this song totally rocks! I love the whole square/futuristic vibe. It would be slightly better if Kylie took a step back and didn't bob in front of the camera so much. The song itself is only okay.. not nearly good enough to play on my show.)
Styles P -- Good Times (Awesome beat. Incredible sample. Too bad Holiday Styles totally sucks at rapping. I love how on MTV, he's telling everyone that he's bi {whoops, I mean.. he gets "by"}.)
Eve f/ Alicia Keys -- Gangsta Love (Good song, too poppy)
Listen to my hot hip hop radio show, Elemental Wizardry, right now!! Oh, and be sure to email me to pre-order your copy of my debut CD, The Awakening. Thanks!! yes, guy--
Ludacris, Mystical and I-20 -- Move B*tch (Get Out the Way) (I first heard this in a club in New Haven, CT, and the audience went CRAZY for it. But I feel it inspires road rage--not that the rage didn't already exist. Basically, I can't relate to it. And I love Mystical, but I think he's getting a bit high on himself when he calls himself a sex symbol; hey Myst, I wouldn't quite go that far. Plus I get pissed off at the end of the radio version, when they edit out every other word I-20 says, but they still let him scream "faggot." Grrrrrreeeeeat.)
Camron f/ Juelz Santana and Freekey Zekey -- Hey Ma (So I don't know the exact name of the song. The background is catchy, but ANOTHER song about having sex? I mean, like the 5 million of those songs out there already isn't enough?? See, this differs from Nelly's Hot in Herre because where I live, it is damn hot, so I DO want to take off my clothes. Also, "hot" is a pretty neat word; I use it in the chorus of two of my new songs--H but H, as well as Wistful Breeze.)
Nelly f/ Kelly (of DC) -- Dilemma (it's nice to see Nelly vary up his flow, but I would probably leave the slow style to tha Bone... plus some of those lyrics: my boo?? shake a wing? I guess that's just not my vocab of preference, although I am excited to see that Beyonce is not the only Destiny's Child member working on a solo career. Nelly's other song Hot in Herre almost fell onto this page for its stupid chorus lyrics, but the Neptunes beat is just too catchy.)
Camron f/ Juelz Santana -- Oh Boy (you know, Horse and Carriage is starting to grow on me in my head... but with this song, I can't stand that like every other word is edited out.. I mean what do you have to say that's so important that involves like fifty million swear words?? plus, there is no chorus. The only redeeming part was when Amerie started singing "Oh Boy!" at MTV's Direct Effect; that was cool.)
Big Tymers -- Still Fly (The song is really catchy, but the trumpets start to sound fake after a bit, plus the whole song is about all the rich, glitzy things they used to have, so it basically comes across as an "I'm so rich" song, even if it's really an "I was really rich recently" song.. plus I'm sure they're still rich enough anyways, and if they really spent all that money, than it's their own damn fault; and the one time they stop talking about their former riches, they instead talk about creeping with your girl... right.)
Ja Rule f/ Ashanti, Vita and Charlie Baltimore -- Down Ass Chick and Down Ass Chick Remix (Look, this man has talent, and the music media loves him... but all he raps about is needing women. Don't you have enough already? I mean every Ja Rule song features a different lusciuos lady; you'd have thought one of them would show him some love... plus that space glide "ffffff" sound is starting to hurt my ears)
Ashanti -- Happy (This song is so dull, and boring, it makes me quite Sad(e))
[[okay, and here is where the artist and song title switch--don't ask why]]
#1 -- Nelly (Much like the "Who Bedda Than Kanyon" question, I can think of many people better than Nelly, including OC, J-Zone, Del tha
Funky Homosapien and *NSYNC.)
Forever -- Kid Rock (I pretty much hate everything Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit have put out. Hopefully Kid Rock's new single will go the way of p diddy's Forever.)
Ain't It Funny -- Jennifer Lopez (man, w/out Puffy, she sux)
You Got It Bad -- Usher (I hate most slow jams. Man, can't MTV play new artists, or at least stop playing the same staple of roughly 10 different peeps? I know for a fact that more talented artists exist out there.)
My Baby -- Lil' Romeo
I'm Feeling on Your Booty -- R Kelly (My G-d, this song sucks!!! "This is My Song..." Hello?! This would not be getting play if it was not Kelly. Boo.)
What Would You Do -- City High (It's catchy, but it repeats the chorus literally forever, oh wait, that's kind of like You Remind Me, by Usher, which I do play [now the remix w/ Mr. Cheeks] ... oh well, that's my prerogative)
Wait a Minute -- Ray J f/ Lil' Kim
Music -- Madonna
Crazy -- K-Ci and Jojo
Lay Low -- Snoop and the Dogg Pound
Lady Marmalade -- Christina Aguilera, Mya, Lil' Kim and Pink
Any Backstreet Boys, Christina, Britney, Jessica Simpson (yuck!!)
I'm Like a Bird -- Nelly Fertado (and also her newer song, Turn Off the Lights, Make Fun of me, fun of me, fun of me)
Bootylicious -- Destiny's Child
Any *NSYNC (except I Thought She Knew, what a great song! ... and now, I've been playing Girlfriend, also)
Smooth -- Santana f/ Rob Thomas (even though it is an excellent song)
Listen to my hot hip hop radio show, Elemental Wizardry, right now!!
*NOTE* In case people were wondering, I do play other songs by many of these people. And I only write about people who are super successful popstars, because these people will do fine whether or not I personally enjoy their music. If there is somebody struggling to make it, and I don't find that person's tracks to be that tight, then I won't be hating on them. I know firsthand that it is very difficult to make it anywhere in this music business, and yet it often seems that the same few people are making songs that don't utilize their full potential. For instance, Christina Aguilera has an incredible voice, but all of her radio hits totally suck.. the only halfway decent one was Lady Marmalade. I am always hoping that some day there will be a big song of hers that will put her talented vocal skills to use. I just get personally offended when I turn on the radio and I hear the same lame songs again and again, when I know that there exist many quality songs out there, just dying to be broadcast.
Plus, I am giving all these people extra free publicity anyways :) If you want to see my more positive side, then check out my list of favorite songs.
FUN FACT: This page has received over 3500 hits.
Have a kinky day. 8-)
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